Apologizes don’t always go as planned, because it wasn’t a good (or sincere) apology. There are better ways to say ‘sorry’, learn how!
A. Understand that apologizes are important
Apologizes are meaningful and effective, only if they are done with sincere regret and empathy. Apologizes are meaningful, because they give the person you hurt the opportunity to move on. More so, apologizes are effective, because they can deescalate a very bad situation. Whether intentional or not, your wrongdoing have consequences and side effects. To be clear, to apologize is not about you, but the person that you’ve hurt.
B. Choose the best timing for apologizes
There is no better time to apologize, than the right time to apologize. Sometimes, identifying when the best time to apologize can be challenging, however do it before its too late.
- Think about what you did wrong.
- Think about your selfishness.
- Think about how you would feel if you were in their shoes.
- Think about how you’re going to say sorry.
We’re all potent to making mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we’re exempt from giving apologizes.
C. Practice the apology
Arranging the apology is the most strategic task at hand. The person that you hurt is boiling hot water and want to fight you at any chance–which is understandable. Be respectful of their feelings, and be mindful why they’re upset with you.
Give them time, however advise them that you would like to apologize face-to-face. Please, take into consideration the following example:
- Hey [PERSON] I know you’re upset with me, and I understand. Whenever you’re free, I’ll like to apologize. Let me know.
The above example had a soft approach; showing empathy and understanding. Now, preview a bad example of arranging an apology:
- I know you’re mad at me and I want to say sorry.
That was an awful apology because it makes an excuse to say sorry, instead of showing regret of the situation. Put yourself in their shoes, and be careful what you say and how you say it.
This step is about you being regretful and showing empathy for your wrongdoing. This is not about you trying to make amends, but you doing the right thing. Being face-to-face to someone that is upset may be uncomfortable, however actions do have consequences.
In reality, some consequences are good, others are not.
E. Learn from this
This is potent because hurting people through selfishness and ego is unjust. Truth is, you’re better than the harm you enact on others. Like our great grandma would say, “Treat others how you want to be treated.”
Be honest, genuine, and considerate to others.