Learn Your Sexuality

A. Sexuality is Confusing

Being sexually confused can be frustrating, but you aren’t alone. At this point in your life, you want answers to explain your sexual feelings. These feelings could be for men, women, or both (which may be confusing to you). Although you are confused, do not think that these feelings are wrong. Simply, you are enticed by what you like– regardless of what other people think. ​

B. Your Mental Feelings Matter

In the blank space below circle (or write on paper) which of the following statements you agree with: 

(A) Athletic bodies are sexy.                                       
(B) Slim/petite bodies are hot. 
(C) I like to be submissive. 
(D) I am aggressive/like to be in control. 
(E) Man on man porn turns me on. 
(F) I like seeing pictures of females. 

C. Like It or Not, Sexuality Has Labels

Your mind details what you think about things, which in response can explain your feelings. At this moment, we’re about to understand your answers from section B.

  • If you circled letters B, D, and F this means you are mainly attracted to females. This is often referred to as being heterosexual (or straight). You prefer females, because you are appealed to be in control and the protector.  This is labeled as Heterosexual.
  • If you circled letters A, C, and E this means you are mainly attracted to males. Considered as being homosexual (or gay), masculine traits entice you. In certain situations, you may like feminine men, depending on your preference to be in control (or not).  This is labeled as homosexuality.
  • If you circle more than four of the six statements, you are bi-sexual. Not only does masculinity attract you, but feminism turns you on. Usually, in this case, you are attracted to one gender more than the other. However, if you are addicted to sex, this is evident of your appeal to both genders. ​This is labeled as bisexuality, in which is more common than society accepts.
D. Your Happiness > Labels

Labels in our society often times cause us to be confused and hateful towards ourselves. This shouldn’t be, because it’s wrong and unfair. We’re all different through ideas, race, gender, and such. More so, what we individually prefer sexually is just another example of diversity. Be proud of your sexual desires, without worrying about labels. 

How to Forgive

A: Sometimes People Hurt Us

Feeling hurt by someone that you love and care for is painful. Most words cannot describe how angry you are, but it’s time to move on. The pain that you’ve faced in your life, are experiences that you don’t want to repeat. Think of this predicament as one that you don’t ever want to be in again. Think of this predicament as pain, that you don’t ever want to feel again. Forgiving someone who has hurt and betrayed you is possible, but are you ready?

B. Process What Caused Your Pain

The first step to forgiving someone who has hurt and betrayed you, is the will to forgive. Secondly, identify what caused you to get hurt. In this step, you’ll understand who you are and also your contribution into your own pain. That was painful to say, but it happens sometimes; We cause our own doom. 

Please read the following questions aloud and see how many “yes” are the answer.

  1. Were you in love with him/her?
  2. Did he/she love you back? 
  3. Did he/she show you that they loved you? 
  4. Did you have doubts about this person (or the situation)? 
  5. Did you try to force it work, even when in doubt? 
  6. Did he/she give up? 
  7. Did you give up? 
  8. Did you know him/her for more than 6 months? 
  9. Did you express your concerns to him/her?
  10. Did he/she show sympathy towards your concerns? 
  11. Did he/she try to change? Make it work? 

Yes, situations vary, however negative signs are often apparent. Choosing to ignore the truth, will often become our regret. 

Yes, you were hurt and betrayed by someone that you loved. However, you loved him/her, but they didn’t love you. From this point forward, only believe in someone’s actions, rather than their words. 

C. You Must Move on Without an Apology

Forgiving someone that hurt and betrayed you, is purposeful to your well-being. Moving on gives you another chance at love and trust. What happened in your previous relationship or friendship is over. Most times you won’t receive an apology, and if you do it’ll be, “If I hurt you, I’m sorry.” 

That’s not an apology and it should encourage you to believe: you deserve better. 

​You do not deserve anyone that cannot love, appreciate, or respect you. 

D. End the Wishful Thinking

Wishful Thinking is the wishing or imagining something would happen that isn’t exactly realistic. In times where you are wishful thinking, remember how it feels to be hurt and angry. The truth and the obvious can help prevent any pain and regret. Before you can forgive who hurt you, you must forgive yourself of all wishful thinking. 

To Self: I am sorry for putting you through this horrible fairy-tale. 

How to Achieve Your Goals

Step 1: Know What Your Goals Are

The SMART acronym is a process for setting goals, which were defined by Paul J. Meyer. Each letter in the process represents a characteristic. The “S” implies for you to set a specific (simple, significant, sensible) goal. 

​Example: To finish my biology essay before Friday. 

Step 2: Set Yourself a Deadline

There is always purpose in the goals that you set. Not only should your goals be specific, but meaningful and motivating. 

Example: To finish my biology essay before Friday, so I can complete my degree. 
The measure/deadline is “Friday”. 

Step 3: Set Goals that Are Realistic

It’s potent that your goals are attainable, to avoid any missteps. This means, don’t get ahead of yourself. Take one step at a time, and set new goals as you accomplish current goals.

Good example: I want to jog every Monday at 6 pm. 
Bad example: I want to get better at communicating. 

Step 4: Evaluate

This step can be confused with ensuring that your goals are achievable, but it’s not related. Ensuring that your goals are relevant means that it fits your current needs. 

Bad example: To be the Director of Operations at my employer. 
Good example: To complete operation management training in three months. 

Remember, stay in the moment. Goals are steps that help you get to the place that you want to be. Simply put, you cannot become President, if you don’t win elections. The goal would be to win elections, so that you can become President. However, good luck in achieving your goals. I know you can do it. 

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